When Settling Seems to be the Only Option

Dear Lady in Waiting,

In a sense I’m writing to both you and myself, because, after all I am also waiting. I know what it’s like to wait, in more ways than one. I know what it’s like to walk down the aisle of a wedding, only to go to your designated position as bridesmaid and await the bride’s entrance. To attend more than one bridal shower, wedding, and baby shower, all in that order. And I’ve gotten to the place where those invites don’t even bring me to jealousy anymore. It only took me 9 years to get to that place. I hope you make it there sooner! The bottom line is, I know what you’re going through. And I want to encourage you that even in the midst of the pain you feel of being overlooked or not picked or forgotten, don’t fall for the lie of the evil one. That pain is nothing compared to what God is protecting you from. I had to learn that truth the hard way. I got tired of waiting. I’ve never regretted anything more. I gave away kisses and dates and held hands all to feel loved. To feel wanted. I crossed boundaries and tried to find comfort for my pain. I heard the Holy Spirit screaming to me “NO!” but I did not care. I was tired of waiting. I watched others around me who were also tired of waiting. They discarded those precious dreams of God’s best along with their standards. And we were all under a strong delusion of deception. For some reason God spared me. In the midst of my struggle I found myself in the back of a car driven by my newly married friends. They had come to save me from giving in once again to my flesh. They spoke truth and life to me. They loved on me. And they encouraged me to wait. I could not see a better plan that God could have for me. I had waited for so long, if He had anything better, wouldn’t He have done it by now? And I tried to settle. But God. He would not allow me. He met me and gave me the courage to walk away. To flee temptation. I did flee, but still have the memories of regret. Of doing things that never should have been done.

Settling is never worth it. I remind myself of this truth b/c I still have quite a ways to journey forward. There are still more tests to face that lay ahead. Still opportunities for temptation. There will always be temptation. But Christ has given victory in the very area of weakness and that is why I’m writing to you. Because without hope it’s pretty hard to keep moving forward. I offer you hope today, that whatever God’s plan is for you it is better and more fulfilling than anything you could have thought of for yourself. He is bringing you to a work of completion and developing you so that you are fully mature in Him. He is protecting you from distraction from your purpose and mission. He has given you everything to complete this mission and will get all of the glory from your faithfulness.

His word will not return void over you and He is working all things for your good.


By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at nicoledmiller.com and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business (www.abnbookkeepingllc.com) when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.


  1. Once again a right on time WORD! I needed to hear this…I’m going on a few years of trying to do things my way and attempting to settle but those “relationships” just didn’t settle right in my spirit. I have finally come to the realization it is my time to WAIT and SEEK GOD not any other him…it is very tough and sometimes I feel bitter or hardened but its also a defense in guarding my heart! Thank you for your humbleness and honesty Its truly a god send to others Shalom!

    1. Praise God for confirmation!!! Tx so much sis 🙂 i would encourage you to remain transparent and accountable to a group of likeminded people if you arent already. It is sooo difficult to walk the more narrow road without community. I also recommend “The Best Sex of My Life” by Dr Lindsay Marsh. She has an amazing testimony of waiting for God’s Best!!! Keeping you in prayer 🙂

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