Upon reading this I could not stop the flow of tears running down my face. My friend Tierra Moore is a phenomenal woman…
Lord, through the years we have made so many promises and declarations to you. We were fascinated by the zeal of your great prophets, disciples, and teachers. We were inspired and convinced that you were worth the pain, sacrifice, threats of death, and persecution. We chanted “David’s Mighty Men…Isaiah’s declaration “Send me, I’ll go…” Echoing the faithful words of Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego “That even if you don’t deliver us Lord, Burn us up…” We were dancing with praise in our hearts, governed by our admiration and the joy we found in you, as we grew daily in our faith and passion for your Word. But, somewhere outside of the four walls tragedy struck our camp with barrenness, prison, miscarriages, divorce, financial setbacks, and death and illnesses striking our loved ones. The fire that once illuminated our paths began to dwindle and soon became only a flickering candle in a dark room. The fires still lit were overthrown by the evolving circumstances of our fellow soldiers. We became scared, trampled by our enemies, and in our fear we gave in to evil desires that we thought were exiled from our lives.
Destruction flooded our thoughts and we began to seek relief and solace in destitute places. We were angry, disillusioned, and we became deceived by our tormentors. The chants we shouted of hope, faith, and love were replaced with accusations, curses and obscenities. “How dare you take from us what we love?” “Did we not pray and ask in your name,” We shouted. Desperation and hurt hindered our faith; corruption seared through our thoughts and battered our souls. “Where are you?” We screamed in unison. But, even though we blamed you we couldn’t fully embrace the lie that the Enemy was planting in our camp. There was something that we just couldn’t come to terms with accepting and that was turning our backs on the one we called Abba, Father. Depression stings and personal failures feel like atomic bombs. But, we all know that nothing could be more painful then bearing these crosses without the One who died on the cross for us. The one who took our cold hearts and made them into flesh, who delivered us from depression, pride, fear, and death. We know that He is the one that can redeem our broken army and his name is tattooed on our hearts JESUS. Job couldn’t have said it any better “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him; but I will maintain mine own ways before him…” We recognize through our losses, and erroneous ways of living where our help comes from. And we recognize that through our self destruction and anger that the help was not coming from following our own hearts or drinking from the Enemy’s cup.
The Word that continues to be a lamp unto our feet has proven to us that we can only place our trust and hope in it. That in our weakness He is made strong. We became and continue to become strong in his Grace. The apostle Paul asked the Lord three times to take away the thorn that was sent by the Enemy and used by God to humble him. But, the Lord told him “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness…” And Paul’s response was “Therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” We have cried and cursed at God, and attempted to punish God by refusing to surrender our hearts, mind, and souls because of the thorns that were sent to us that God has not yet come to remove. And in return we have received lukewarm and bitter hearts because we were blinded by our grievances and deceived by not believing that God’s grace has and will continue to be sufficient during our time of crises. Even as I pen this letter the Enemy is whispering to me to stop, and fear threatens to consume my mind all over again, because I don’t know what tragedy can strike again tomorrow. But, I refuse to live in a panic room and the Lord has opened my eyes and made me see. That without his amazing grace, his correction, and relentless pursuit of his sons and daughters in this army that we would not have survived some of the treacherous years we have encountered and even the hardships that we may still have to endure. But, if that’s what it takes, Jesus, to let us be able to receive eternal life in you- then, Lord till the ground in me and my fellow comrades until we are ready. Though we have been injured in these battles of life, even losing some our greatest soldiers, we thank Jesus through it all we are still an army of lovers and we are still standing.
Tierra Moore is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, business woman, fashion coordinator, writer and lover of Jesus. Her tender heart exudes His love and demonstrates His affection for His bride. She is a proverbs 31 woman indeed.