I had this great epiphany today that I’m in transition. For the last 6 months I’ve been growing out my relaxer and slowly joining the “natural hair movement”. For the uniformed, this movement consists of African American women letting go of chemically processing their hair and opting to don their natural and coily locks. In truth I am so behind the times. Every single one of my friends is natural and I have a LOT of friends. Yet I, myself, wasn’t ready for such a change until mid last year. I mean, I definitely had folks thinking I was natural as I was a beast at stretching out my perms (down to 4 a year) and rocking bantu knots (a natural hairstyle). I often joked with friends that I was “half natural”…half of my hair was permed and the other was natural. But never one to be a follower, I needed a stronger reason to make the change other than “everybody’s doing it”. And since that’s happened it’s been pretty low key until the last few weeks. Now that I have more new growth (natural hair) it’s getting a little bit more difficult to manage. My roomate warned me that at some point I’m going to want to cut off the permed hair and although I didn’t believe her, I’m getting that desire to have my whole head one texture. We’ll see if I’m brave enough to do something about it 🙂
This transition period has been a little rough as I’ve come so far (6 months in) and yet have so far to go (6 months to go???). I don’t know what awaits me on the other side. I just know that I want my hair to be healthy and happy (and long).
Other areas of transition in my life are not directly related to me but still affect me. My good friend whose engaged is transitioning. She’s planning her wedding which will be in September. We connect pretty consistently and don’t go too long without hooking up in some way, shape or form. Well, the last time we tried to hook up we had to postpone it 3 different times b/c her now fiance needed her. Bless her heart, she was very intentional about spending time with me and made it happen, but it was a stretch. I appreciated her effort but faced the realization that, things are different now. There’s someone who takes precedence in her life now. My other good friend is now in a relationship and just the other night we were in mid convo when her boyfriend called. I understandably let her take his call because, who are we kidding, we’ve talked consistently for the last 5 years and our conversations don’t quite match up to the new and exciting boyfriend-girlfriend kind 🙂 But again, things are different.
In transition periods there is this awkwardness. The “I’m not quite where I’m going, but definitely not where I’ve been”, type of awkwardness. It feels to me a little bit like being in mid air and waiting to land (don’t look down Nicole). If only I could be like Neo in the Matrix and soar to the other side… I know its times like these God wants to show me that He is the net beneath my leap. Even if I can’t see the net, it’s there. He’s there. Never changing. Friendships change, seasons change, jobs change, hair changes, but He never does.
I’m grateful that these are good transitions that are happening and that God, in His love and mercy towards me, remains rooted by my side in the midst of them.