Its an interesting thing when your relationship with God changes. Well maybe interesting isnt the most accurate word to describe it. At least not for me. As is my normal this transition/change in season was pretty traumatic/dramatic. I did not understand the silence and the still small voice. I did not understand how after nearly 15 years of the very loud voice could God switch to a whisper? How could it be that for so long we spoke face to face then all of a sudden it seemed He hid His face from me? But I came across an old journal entry that confirmed what I already knew.
This was a “dry season”.
Amos 8:11 NIV
“The days are coming,” declares the Sovereign LORD, “when I will send a famine through the land— not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.”
I never even knew that scripture existed (except for the fact that I found it in an old journal) but it so captures this season for me. I feel He has been diligent to send His word indirectly to me through circumstances and people but not directly. This has been weird since there has been nothing indirect about my relationship with God since I surrendered to Him as a teenager.
Over and over I have struggled with believing in His presence when I cannot feel His presence. How can He be here if I do not feel Him? I kept wondering. And then this morning while listening to a favorite minister the Word of the Lord came (as it has so often) through him. He shared that when we think God is not there simply because we do not hear Him our thinking is rooted in pride. Ouch. He said that God’s response to this thinking was similar to when He responded to Job…
“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone— while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?”
I realized my struggle comes down to a false belief of knowing. So often our gift can also be a weakness. Because He has chosen to operate with me in “knowing” so often I have mistaken that to mean He has told me “all” when in fact it has only been some. We see in part and we know in part.
The dry season is not a “fun” season. It doesn’t have the emotional high of intimacy that I’m used to. It doesn’t have the spiritual songs birthed out of those quiet times or the prophetic dreams telling of things to come. But what it does have is the power to develop me mentally and make me more stable emotionally. And for that I am grateful.
In my journal 12 years ago I wrote that the dry season is a good season because things catch on fire when they are dry.
I look forward to being on fire…
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SHALOM
