Throughout the course of this year I have struggled with a thought when faced with a decision to do something spiritual. It could be writing a guest blog post, publicity for my book, giving of my gifts, or serving in even the smallest way. A thought has surfaced either before or during my decision-making-process and it says, “What if God says ‘no’?” With that statement comes FEAR. Immediately fear and anxiety take over and as a result I have chosen not to participate in the opportunity I’m presented with. As a result I let fear win and I feel defeated. There have even been cases where I have begun participating in the event and then backed out due to unrelenting anxiety, resulting in double-mindedness.
At first I didn’t even recognize the fear at the root of the thought. I actually believed it was the Lord leading me, believing that I would be “out of His will” if I didn’t listen to it. But this thought kept surfacing and I began to discern the fear that was operating. At this point in my spiritual journey the Lord is teaching me about being aware of my thought life. I am learning that thoughts lead to feelings. I heard a well-known minister share that feelings emote. He said they are not intelligent b/c they are just responding to thoughts. I have historically been led by my emotions and that has been a foolish way of functioning. Now I desire to be led only by His Spirit. Only by His Wisdom.
“As a man thinks in his heart so is he” -Proverbs 23:7
I’ve learned that science proves humans have a positive belief system and a negative belief system. Since the fall of man the default belief system has been the negative belief system. Why is it easier to believe something bad could happen rather than something good? It is b/c of our belief system. I realize this belief system has distorted my view of the Father. I have viewed Him through a lens of fear but His word says He is Love and there is no love in fear. It also says that He is for me and His promises to me are “yes and yes and amen”. So my desire is for my first thought to be “what if God says ‘yes’?”. Because even if He says “no” He will make it clear in that compassionate, loving way He always does. He will re-direct my steps back onto the path He has chosen and I will not need to be afraid of veering off His course.
Even better, He will cause my missteps to work for my good (Romans 8:28).
Psalm 23 (NKJV)
The Lord the Shepherd of His People
A Psalm of David.
23 The Lord is my shepherd (That’s Relationship)
I shall not want. (That’s Supply)
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures (That’s Rest)
He leads me beside the still waters. (That’s Refreshment)
3 He restores my soul (That’s Healing)
He leads me in the paths of righteousness (That’s Guidance)
For His name’s sake. (That’s Purpose)
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, (That’s Testing)
I will fear no evil (That’s Protection)
For You are with me (That’s Faithfulness)
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (That’s Discipline)
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies (That’s Hope)
You anoint my head with oil (That’s Consecration)
My cup runs over. (That’s Abundance)
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life (That’s Blessings)
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever (That’s Security)