I sat on my balcony in the dark with a mug of tea in my hand. My heart was broken but I was determined to cling to Christ. Earlier that day I felt the PEACE of God. It was the same PEACE I experienced 10 years ago when I had my first spiritual attack. It was the same PEACE because it was the same attack. I went over my mantra in my head when I felt it… God’s presence. “No matter who rejects you, no matter who abandons you, your identity is not found in them, it is found in Christ”, I repeated over and over. These are the lessons I have been learning and practicing. Now I was being put to the test. Would I crumble because I was experiencing that all too familiar rejection? Would I feel “lesser than”? Would I hide myself in fear and clothe myself in sadness? No. Not this time. I sat and felt Holy Spirit assuring me that He was working this thing out. He was going to move. But I wasn’t quite so sure. I was so used to the wars. The battle. I was prepared to continue on in my suit of armor, fighting the good fight. But God said “no”. Not this time. He was going to move. And move He did. “I make all things new” He said. Well Father, I sure hope so. Just even as an encouragement. I could use a little hope right now that things can be different. Better. God blew me away. He kept His word. Sitting on that balcony I let it all go. I held on to nothing. There was no person or thing that I was clinging to but Him. “Father, You are my life. I am here for You and Your purposes”. And Our desires aligned. His heart was for reconciliation and so was mine. We were in sync. We were One.
My pastors are big on transformation in the earth. Their assignment is to “grow up” the body of Christ and equip them to walk in wholeness. I have spent 7 years under their leadership and I’ve struggled every step of the way. As intercessors their heart is for God’s will to be manifested in the earth. I have the same heart, but it wasn’t until this moment that I really desired it with an urgency. I really needed to see the impossible happen. God did a quick turnaround in less than 48 hours. His will really did come to pass and I will never forget what He did for me. The impossible.
In the beginning God created man. He created humanity to love. He created people in His own image so that they would rule and reign just as He ruled and reigned. But something happened. Man listened to the lie. Man was tricked into believing he was unloved. Uncared for. Lost. So Christ came and restored. We do not have to be lost. We do not have to be rejected. We do not have to be unloved. The world wants to keep this secret from humanity. But God has planted His body in the earth to share the secret. To free the people. To lead them back to the original path of life, restoration, healing and wholeness. I’m looking forward to seeing the manifestation of His heart continue in the lives of all those who have answered His call. I’m looking forward to seeing more of His promises being manifested in mine.