I woke up this morning to PEACE. Such beautiful, lovely PEACE. I have spent the last few weeks overcoming heartbreak. Dealing with rejection issues. Walking out obedience and surrender. It’s been HARD, but so needed. Needed because of the JUNK that has been in my heart that has threatened my relationship with Christ. I forgot how painful break ups can be. But this weekend, for the first time in a while, the pain was gone. I think the two ladies visiting me from Cincinnati, OH had a little to do with it :-).
We had a fabulous time celebrating my b day and attending a 90’s r&b concert. Even though the concert was a bust, we learned a lot through the experience.
Lesson #1: Just because someone is famous doesn’t mean they are happy.
Lesson #2: There is no joy or peace when not walking in one’s calling
Lesson #3: You will only know what’s in your heart when it is tested.
God exposed a lot of false worship and idolatry in my heart. He showed me the deception and illusion the enemy uses in the entertainment biz and how these tricks deceive multitudes into idolizing men. The last thing I expected to get were spiritual lessons and deliverance this weekend, but God is always in the midst of every area of His kid’s life when they are surrendered. He uses every opportunity to grow us and mature us in Him for His glory.
So, my girls and I had a ball and I thoroughly enjoyed their company. Even though we only got 4 hours of sleep a night due to talking about our regular topics: God, men, and work, I was energized by their company.
When the Lord woke me up this morning, I lay there and willed myself to spend time with Him but kept falling back asleep. Still, He blessed me with His peace. The worry I had over my finances, relationships in my life, work, etc…were gone and still are. I feel content and it is only Him. My circumstances haven’t changed but the fear and worry are now gone.
31 does not look at all how I once thought it would. But I’m so glad to be in His will, walking out His path, one step at a time. I’m so glad to have gone through the process, be going through the process, and to have overcome various challenges. I’m so glad for the testimony He is writing through me at 31. Above all I am most grateful for His peace, rest and contentment that has come after the pain.