It is pretty typical of me to grasp hold of an idea, a plan, a dream, calculate ways to bring those plans into fruition and then execute. I am a great executor. I even love saying that word, “execute”. It exudes power, drive & accomplishment.
Executors work very well with visionaries. See, I don’t need to have the vision myself, I just need it to be shared with me and then I move. I will sometimes look at others who are not moving and I wonder “what is wrong with them?” The problem is, with executing, I sometimes forget to wait on the visionary. I often move full speed ahead, diving into the world of “go-getters” and “make -it-happeners”. Sometimes you can get away with that type of behavior. You know, if you are leading a bunch of folks who have been waiting a long time for someone to make some thing happen. But when the Visionary is God, well, He can pull rank and slow you down. Cause you to stop, drop and roll. Cause you to second guess your natural tendency to move ahead, with or without Him.
So that’s what’s happening right now. I’m slowing down. I’m taking deep. Slow. Breaths. Putting one foot carefully in front of the other. Walking forward with full dependence on Him. And it’s not that I don’t like rest. I really, really do. It’s just that that natural tendency for me to desire execution will dominate and I will choose movement when in fact I should be resting. It’s just that my sinful nature would rather NOT depend on Him. Would rather say “hey God, I know You have a plan but really I see a lot of loopholes in it and actually I have a better one…” Thankfully he will stop me in my tracks, slow me down, and show me my heart. Show me the pride. Show me the presumption.
Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
Let them not have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
And I shall be innocent of great transgression.
So this is me walking slowly and being fully dependent. This is me staying close to Him so that I can receive His daily instruction for my life and have the proper expectation for it. This is me releasing the reigns and letting Him be the Executor.
Unless the Lord builds the house
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.