Online Dating: The Verdict is Still Out

So I did it.  I joined millions of Americans and signed up on an online dating site.  Now this is not my first time…actually it’s my 3rd in all honesty.  But this is the first time I didn’t feel like I was stepping out of God’s will.  The other 2 times I knew that is exactly what I was doing.  Not that I think online dating in general is a sin…it’s just that I knew that in my heart I was not surrendering this area of my life to God when I made that decision.  I knew I was harboring bitterness, resentment, frustration, etc… in my heart and did not care what God’s opinion was on the matter.  This time around, it was just kind of a nonchalant, casual type of thing (I was actually looking up a scripture online and saw the dating ad and figured “why not?”).  I’ve heard many a success story from others with online dating.  I’ve also heard my share of unsuccessful stories.  Personally I really hope I don’t meet my husband online.  I really don’t want that to be my story.  Practically it makes sense to get yourself out there and meet new people.  Let’s face it, the internet is great at connecting folks who otherwise would not be connected (this blog is a perfect example of that).  However, online dating still has that stigma of desperation for me.  Now, don’t be offended, I’m not saying that everyone who joins is desperate (I hope not because clearly I just joined!) but I can’t help but have that kind of weird feeling in my heart when I think about it.  In talking to my roommate about it she shared she doesn’t want that to be her story because it doesn’t fit in with the extraordinary, special, romantic notion she wants for her courtship.  I must agree.  Even with the online dating thing, there is nothing in me that wants to “reach out” to communicate with a cute, godly, man and see if we have a connection.  I’d rather be sought after…I guess I’m just traditional in that way.

One thing I do like about the current site I joined is that it is specifically for Christians and they seem to really enforce that.  However, I keep going back and forth about cancelling my membership because I feel they duped me into becoming a member.  They sent me this email that led me to believe someone had emailed me to let me know they were interested in getting to know me.  So, I join b/c they set it up so that you can only view the email if you join…and of course the email in my inbox was a welcome message.  That was pretty deceiving if you ask me…Now I’m out $30 bucks and anyone who knows me knows how frugal, okay, okay…cheap, I am.  So, we’ll see if I end up cancelling to recoup some of my expense.  I’m kind of leaning towards keeping it just so I can provide some updates in this area of my life on this blog, since the “relationship” category is looking a little thin 😀  At least the romantic relationships are…Maybe I’ll meet some cool people at best and realize even more how much God has everything in my life already written.  As I walk this life out day by day, it’s kind of like God is reading it page by page.  Even still, I wonder if He’s skipping the chapter on online dating…SHALOM 😀

By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business ( when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.


  1. Which site did you join?
    What’s so bad about meeting your husband online? I sense shame..? It is still taboo so I can totally understand how awkward it would be telling that story to someone.
    Thirdly you said ” I’d rather be sought after”, girl then let them seek you. I’m sure that there is a search option!lol

    Anyway be careful of these “Christian sites”. Many people pose and linger on these sites seeking “good” men or women. Use discernment! 🙂

  2. Hi! I joined ChristianMingle…although others have had success with it it’s proving to be unfruitful for me. But I really didn’t expect to get too much out of it. I have 8 more days then I’m canceling the membership. Have you ever tried a dating site? If so, what was your experience? I’m not sure if I would be “ashamed” as much as “embarrassed” if that were my love story. Just being honest. And I can’t even pinpoint why I feel that way. I’ve made very few attempts at reaching out to the guys so they def have to use their “search” button for me 🙂 Appreciate your thoughts!!

  3. I didn’t see any typos so you must be stellar at typing and rushing 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story, that’s awesome! I may check out the site you referenced. I know that God has me in a place of resting in Him without distraction and I want to be sensitive to His Spirit about opening up doors to distraction. It sounds like you were Spirit led, and I want to be Spirit led in all aspects of my life too, especially this one! I hope things work out in your relationship! I just love when God brings His people together, no matter HOW He does it! 🙂

  4. Amen! Yes please rest in Him. Trust Him in completed and He shall lead you.
    God is an awesome God, I sure do love the way He works! Thank you for the wishes 🙂 Please keep us in prayer. I will also do the same for you !
    I will stalk your blog, all the best! Merry Christmas!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: