Unmet Expectations

This week 2 of my friends have made the transition to what I like to call “grown woman status”.  In lay men’s terms… they turned 30.  Typically there is no huge difference in being 30 than being 29.  For most people age is just a number.  And although I agree that there is no real huge personality change that occurs in the day after you leave your 20s, I think most folks can agree that you are not nearly the same person you were 10 years ago.

Everyone’s story is different, even in my circle of friends.  Some Most of us are single, some have kids, some don’t, some have jobs, some don’t, some have traveled the world, while others (like myself) have never left the country (unless you count that 8th grade trip to Toronto I took…which I don’t).  But I believe everyone can say they had some type of idea of how their life would look by a certain age.  And found it just didn’t go as planned.  I think our culture and society plays into those expectations we may have had.  Even now, my mom encourages me to have a “5 year plan”.  And while I know she means well, the 5 year plan concept has not worked out so well for me.  I can relate more to recovering Alcoholics, “taking it one day at a time”…

Lately there is this restlessness in me.  And I know it’s a result of my innermost desires not being met.  I crave an adventure.  I was just telling my roommate the other day; I never would have thought I would be the type to sit at a cube everyday, for 8 hours a day, for 5 1/2 years straight (that’s nearly 2007 days folks!).  I had no clue I would be in the same city for this long as well.  In my early 20s I thought the most effective way for me to impact this world with the gospel was to travel and preach His word, ministering to the lost.  I had no idea that everyday working people, sitting in cubes, need His love just as much.

I came across this blog which had guest writers share on how they “survived their 20s”.  It was eye opening and comforting to know everyone’s story and that I was not alone in feelings of frustration and disappointment.  That in fact, these feelings were just a result of having unmet expectations.  People shared on facing grief from losing loved ones, battling illnesses, overcoming heartache, starting a family, etc…All of it just showed me how God fashions our lives in a way that gives Him the most glory.  Only He knows the inner chambers of our hearts and knows what will make us most like Him.  I for one am extremely grateful that He extended mercy to me, picked me up out of the miry clay and set my feet on a Rock.  His plan was so much better than mine.  That being said, one of the things I’m walking through right now is letting go of expectations.  Life can be as joyful or not so joyful as we want it to be.   It can be the adventure we make it whether we are sitting in a cube, being a housewife, or being a secret CIA Agent/Assassin (shout out to Jason Bourne).

I’m learning life is not a fairytale and part of growing up is putting away the fairytales.  Thankfully, God still promised us a happy ending…eternity with Him.

What expectations did you have that were unmet and how did you deal with them not being fulfilled?

Thanks for reading 😀

By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at nicoledmiller.com and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business (www.abnbookkeepingllc.com) when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.


  1. You already know mine…lol. Praise God for our 20s though. How much more will we appreciate the next stage of life! Love you sis and keep blogging!

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