There have been times lately that my heart has been so overcome with pain that I could not speak. (Psalm 18) The pangs of death surrounded me, and the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; the snares of death confronted me.
I could not utter even a single syllable. It was during those times that Holy Spirit told me, “Nicole, when you can not speak, when you can not even utter a single syllable, just say “Father” in your heart. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God.
And so I would. I would say “Father” and look to the ceiling and focus my heart on Him. As I stood in the kitchen washing dishes, or sat in the middle of the tub as the water ran over my skin mingling with my tears with my face buried in my knees. When I poured out my heart to another and they rejected all that I had to offer. The burden was too great, so I said “Father”.
And over again.
And then God moved. He moved so suddenly and so quickly at times that I was shocked at the speed of His answer. Shocked at the speed of the manifestation of His power. He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, because He was angry. Smoke went up from His nostrils, and devouring fire from His mouth; coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down with darkness under His feet. And He rode upon a cherub, and flew; He flew upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness His secret place; His canopy around Him was dark waters and thick clouds of the skies from the brightness before Him, His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire.
God’s sudden movement in my circumstances reminded me that I am His. And because I am His He cares. Not only does He care for me but He will fight for me. He cares for all of humanity but He is only able to fight for His children because we have given our lives to Him and He has ownership of our lives.
The Lord thundered from heaven, and the Most High uttered His voice, hailstones and coals of fire. He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, the foundations of the world were uncovered at Your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
In church we are often taught to say the name of Jesus. Indeed there is power in the name. And sometimes I do say Jesus, or the Hebrew equivalent Yeshua. But for most of my journey with the Lord I have often needed, so desperately needed Him, as FATHER.
He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me, for they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.
And He has delighted in me, as His daughter. When faced with hardships and pain…setbacks and heartbreak, our vision can be clouded of what we mean to God. We can forget that we are precious in His sight as we are being tossed to and fro by the winds of life. Yes it is true we live in a war, there is a real spiritual battle between good and evil. The flesh, the world, the devil, they are all against us. But what is also true is that God has already won the war…
For You will light my lamp; The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop, by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
And He gave us the victory when He won. For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of deer, and sets me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
So if your arms feel too heavy from carrying the hardships of your life, from trying to juggle all of the obstacles that seem to endlessly come against you, call on Him. He has promised to make your arms strong enough even to bend a bow of bronze. He has promised to answer all those who call on His name.