These are just a few instances that have occurred over the years in regards to my complexion. When I shared them with a guy I had dated more recently in my adulthood, (before making him sit through the hour-long documentary “Dark Girls”), his response was to brush off my concerns as being immature nonsense that happens while growing up. “Then why are there rarely strong, beautiful, darker skin women portrayed in our media? Why is the typical light skin woman the one on the videos or in the BET (Black Entertainment Television) rom com?” To that, he had no response. Because he knew. Our people are still ashamed.
Take Up Your Bed and Walk!
What? I’m able to walk? I should be walking? This was news to me! I had been hobbling, rolling, crawling and hopping around for the last 6 weeks, but no walking. I had been doing everything BUT walking! Now, I can just walk?!
Trusting God in the Process
I could hear the sadness in her silence on the other end of the phone. I gripped it nearer to my ear, thinking that the Uber driver could probably hear my end of the conversation, but feeling too distraught to really care. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she finally answered, and I felt the tears… Continue reading Trusting God in the Process
Female Relationships. Are They Worth It?
Humans are complex beings, and, in my opinion, women are even more complex. More specifically, in the Black community, we have a history of jealousy, discord, competition (normally centered around gaining attention from men) and pain within female-to-female relationships. We see this in those popular reality shows such as “The Housewives” series. Yes, maybe TV amplifies issues for ratings sake, but, if we were really on the up and up in these relationships, producers would have nothing to work with to portray our interactions in such a negative light.
Every Need Supplied
I remember when I was younger in my faith, and I would attend my spiritual group. We would sing a song that talked about how every need was supplied. How many of us have sang those worship songs and hardly placed too much thought about what exactly we were singing?🙋🏾♀️🙄 Well, that was probably one… Continue reading Every Need Supplied
Unlearning How to “Push Through”
At that time, I was also still doing a lot of my workouts, thinking that I was doing less than my normal, so I was good right? Wrong. If anything I was making matters worse by slapping on my ace bandage before lifting my weights. In hindsight, I can see that my “just push through” mentality was surfacing, and so I did what came natural. But what comes “natural: isn’t always the healthiest decision. I’m learning..
Filling The Gap
This weekend I had a a few events booked for my book-selling engagements. Only problem was I hadn’t anticipated that I would have fractured my ankle when I paid for the tables for said events🙄. When I told my friend my dilemma, she suggested I reach out to my community and see if folks could… Continue reading Filling The Gap
The Art of Waiting
In that dialogue, one of the questions was, “Have you ever had to ‘wait on God’? If so, what are some practical tools you used that helped in your wait”? Whew! Ya’ll already know what it is with me! I feel like I been waiting on Jesus FOREVA to bring this man. (Where he at Jesus??) But aside from that, just in general, God has typically used waiting in my story. Even stuff I thought was a “suddenly” was more like a, “suddenly this appeared after I had been waiting all this time”! LOL.
Is Ghosting A “Sin”?
I have been ghosted at least twice in the last six weeks. The very first time I was in shock. I had no idea that someone who seemed to invest their time, money and interest in me could suddenly just bounce. Oh, but I am learning fast people! It happens. And it happens to the best of us. So, after my second experience, I had to give myself “the pep talk”, which pretty much boiled down to: “It’s not you Nicole, its them”.
We Are Not Grasshoppers
Have you ever felt like a grasshopper? Your circumstances, your calling, your unction in your gut, feels much bigger than anything you can possibly fathom? I know I have. And over and over I keep feeling the Holy Spirit show me that these people I esteem and am often intimidated by, are just “people with platforms”.
His Love is Better Than Wine 