Now that I’ve walked some with Jesus I can look back on the path and see His hand, working, molding, shaping and developing. I kicked and screamed during most of that development but still, He had His way.
A friend of a friend had to give up a relationship recently. She cried, he cried and maybe even God cried. But she gave it up because God told her to. I was super impressed she obeyed so quickly, thinking back to my own similar experience nearly 2 years ago. It took me more than 2 wks to obey. I have never heard God so clearly in my life. Before that time I really thought I could choose. I had waited so long, surely it did not make a difference at that point if I settled? Of course I didn’t call it settling back then. Instead I justified and reasoned and ignored the red flags.
Thank God for His mercy.
The decision to lay down that relationship was probably the most rewarding decision I have ever made but at the time it felt like one of the most painful.
God met me and did not leave me hanging when asking for my obedience. He manifested His presence and revelation like never before. In the coming year I experienced His love in a way I didn’t even know existed.
Now I think about His love and struggle to receive it. It is so overwhelming and intense its hard to believe someone could love me that much, especially the Creator of all things!
I realize in this season that knowing His love is the foundation of wholeness. He is after me to know this love regardless of my thoughts on the matter. He has been after me since birth I just didn’t realize it. All gifts He gives are to keep directing us to His love. He tests us and matures us and calls us higher. He calls us to the deep.
It is all to know His love. To be satisfied by it. And to offer it to this lost world.
SHALOM
- The Lord is GOOD!
I shared my testimony last night with my new friend. I told her how I had different plans for my life and how at every turn I was asked to give up those plans. At the time it caused me great pain. I could not see what God was protecting me from. I only saw what I was giving up. I only saw that I was standing still while so many of my peers were moving along, checking off their checklist of societies’ “most achieved”. What was I achieving? It did not seem to be much at the time but now looking back on the journey I can see my riches were being stored up in heaven.
Because I did not understand God’s ways and why I had to keep surrendering it distorted my view of who He was/is. I did not believe that He was good or He was for me or He was love, even if I said I did. I loved Him, but I did not trust Him. He of course knew this so He set about presenting various tests to build my trust. We cannot have a testimony without a test.
I have had several tests and I can see the progression in them; they keep getting harder and harder. I believe that is because there is more at stake and a greater harvest to be had. Just as I can look back at these tests I can look back and see the rewards. I can see now what I could not see then: God is good.
He is a good Father working all for the good. He loves to give good gifts to His children but He wants to make sure you can be entrusted with the gift first. The more valuable the gift, the more you need to mature to receive it. Just as a parent would not give a toddler an expensive glass vase to hold, God would not entrust us with His prized jewels, until we are trustworthy. We prove we are trustworthy when we pass His tests.
He always gives us grace to pass. He does not ask us to do anything we can’t do. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
I’m glad to finally be able to see, God is good.
He is for me.
And He is love.
Psalm 34:8
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Psalms 37:3
“Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness“
SHALOM
