Over the weekend I came across a few blog posts written by people in different seasons than myself. One blogger was a “mommy blogger” and was encouraging moms. She shared about her grand dreams of doing something “big” for the kingdom and listed several single women in history who seemed to contribute greatly to the kingdom. They had helped women escape from the sex trade and gave their lives for people and impacted generations while she struggled with changing diapers and wiping snot and, well, being a mom. She encouraged moms that their jobs were just as important and I appreciated that about her. But I commented and shared that I too had these great dreams in my early stages of being a believer where I too would impact the kingdom in magnificent ways. I would travel internationally and spread the gospel. I would preach and teach and deliver people from bondage. Those were the ways I thought I could most effectively advance the kingdom and impact nations. But just like this mom, I was wrong. This little blog here is the most international experience I’ve had to date. Sitting in a cubical day in day out for 8 years is the best way I have impacted the kingdom.
I read another blog post where a woman shared about always thinking she would have a “normal” job, with “normal” working hours (9-5) and “normal” vacation time. But instead there was no stability in her career. There was nothing “normal” about it. I know this woman would look at my life from the outside in and say “I want what you have. What you have is normal.” What was so clear to me in reading about these other people’s journeys that are so different than mine is that the problem isn’t your circumstance. The real issue is that you need contentment on the inside of yourself to have peace with your circumstances. It also was apparent to me how the grass always looks greener on the other side. Maybe God intentionally gives you the opposite of what you thought you wanted just to cause you to rely on Him. And maybe sometimes He gives people what they want to show them that they still cannot be fulfilled by the things of this world.
One thing I’m noticing is that we tend to believe other people’s lives are more glamorous than they really are. My friend’s sister is a doctor. She has worked hard her whole life for her success. She makes good money, and saves lives daily. That sounds pretty glamorous to me. But my friend shared, “my sister’s life is anything but glamorous” and she went on to share about the foolishness her sister deals with on the daily from her patients.
One could look at my life and only see the highlights. They would say “Nicole, you are so blessed. You have had so many great experiences and opportunities. You have education and independence and health. You are in your prime and there is so much more ahead!” The mommy blogger would say, “Wow, you are single and you have more opportunities to advance the kingdom b/c of it!” The other woman would say “you have a “normal” job with “normal” vacation time and “normal” responsibilities. And I would say to these women, “You are right. But even in the cup you are given there will always be testing. There will always be stretching. And the only way to truly appreciate your portion, is to trust the One who gave it to you.” That trust does not come easy. That trust is built through years of tests and trials. It ebbs and flows through various seasons and really He will never give you what will be easy for you, if you are in fact His disciple.
I appreciate the opportunities I have to advance the kingdom, but much like the mommy blogger, I had to give up those grand notions of evangelism. I had to set them on a shelf for a future season of life, and realize, just as she is to raise up her children to be spiritual soldiers, I am to influence those around me from my cubical.
It is immature (and foolish) to covet another’s cup. To only look at the surface level and believe their lives only consist of what they allow social media to see. I’m grateful for the blessings of my life. but I cannot think of one (major) blessing that has not come from surrender and pain and faith.
To reap the harvest, you must first sow the seed.
SHALOM
Awesome post and very on time. Being content with your portion is so challenging yet so very necessary and something The Lord is continuously strengthening me to do. If we trust Him with our process, we will indeed be content with what He is doing with us and through us for His glory!! 🔥🔥🔥
Amen!! I was even struggling with discontentment today after writing this post SMH. And the Lord reminded me He is the source of contentment. Truly He will keep us in perfect peace of we keep our eyes on Him 😉
Nicole…this is wisdom – the divine kind that is only obtained when Abba reveals it. You are living from the springs of our Heavenly Father’s heartbeat and it is evident by the treasures and jewels He is shares with you. Thank you for sharing with us!
WOW thank you Leah! Such profound word spoken from Holy Spirit! Blessings to you!!!
Wow, be careful what you wish for as you may get it and find yourself miserable or not ready. I was listening to Bishop T. D. Jakes today about how the devil was testing God by asking him to let him have a territory of people and God granted it so that means this Devil has been after us for many, many years and He gets us in our wanting more like someone else or thinking that we deserve more but not prepared and since we are discontent with ourselves, we are letting the devil in to create havoc in our lives and we suffer so much pain because we get in the way of what God wants for us and once we begin to realize that God is the answer will we begin to excel in what we can be and do for others in the service of God. We are not to compare ourselves with others thinking the grass is greener on the other side, God made us all the same but different so that we can help each other against the devil. The devil gets to us in our pain but when we take that pain and give it to God, he will send you what you need when you need it and what we need most importantly is Him – our creator of life who loves us and want the best for all of his children but you do have the freedom to choose and hopefully not too late. We are to operate in our space doing the best that we can do not knowing that we are being prepared to be the light to a dying world wherever we are in our corner of the world – even the cleaners, grocery stores, waiting on the bus and even emails ( Smile. ( my paraphrasing and my belief of what I have learned and still learning.) Our church just finished this week for 1 1/2 years of a Discipleship class with workbook guidance and Study Bibles which were new for us, it was very interesting and a relearning of stories you may have learned earlier in your life and others that you may not have paid attention to but depending on where your walk in life is right now, it was very worthwhile and we want to continue into the next session. Our ages ranged from 30-87 and the most important part was there was no putting anyone down for their own thinking in this process and maybe having to re-learn a new way of thinking. We had full assignments the week before to prepare for the discussions, it was about God and our own personal experiences too. The class last about 3 hours when we were at the church but due to our Winter weather and illnesses, we decided to do conference calls this season which was new for us – initial responses were that we are not going to be on no call for 3 hours? In the end, we spent about 2 hours but that time went so fast!!! Prayer was definite a part of these lessons and we did grow in the Word and in our walk with God I do believe.
Tx for sharing Linda! Im glad you are learning and growing in the faith! Keep moving forward at all costs 🙂