You are My Everything

Can I be honest on this blog? I mean REALLY honest? (You the reader) “Yes Nicole, please do be very honest…that’s why we read, for your honesty”. Thanks I really appreciate that reader 🙂 Well, the other night I found myself on my living room couch in tears. Rivers of tears rolling down my face. You see, I was overcome with this continuous weakness of mine. You know how Paul talks about how he wishes he could stop doing what he doesn’t want to do but of course there’s a part of him that does want to do it because, well he keeps doing it? It’s in the Bible people, I promise. So, that’s kind of how this weakness of mine has been. And really I’ve got more than one weakness. But the weakness I was in tears over had more to do with an overarching area of my life and not just one “thing”. So I was overcome with my weakness and how I have just STRUGGLED in this area of life, no matter how much TIME has gone by. And I kept apologizing to God b/c I really just wanted to be, well, better. Okay, okay, I wanted to be perfect. That is the real deal. I’ve always wanted to be perfect. But these stupid weaknesses of mine keep getting in the way of me accomplishing this feat. In and of myself that is…so I’m crying and then I’m reminded of this song that has really been ministering to me lately. And I don’t even think the writer intended it to be a song of ministry. I’m almost certain the singer did not as it’s an R&B cut. But as soon as the lyrics flowed through the airwaves of my little 2 bedroom apartment, I was instantly encouraged…

It’s all because of you
I’m never sad and blue
You’ve brightened up my days
In your own special way
Whenever you’re around
I’m never feeling down
You are my trusted friend
On you I can depend

And as I sang these lyrics, I began to see myself as I really am. Not weak. Not a victim. But a victor.

You take me away
From the pain
And you bring me paradise
And when there were cloudy
days you brought sunshine in my life
It never occurred
To me the first time I saw your face
I would fall so deep in love
That your love can’t be replaced

I had pictures flash before my minds’ eye and I saw myself how probably others see me and surely how my Father sees me.

You are my everything (you are my everything)
love so good, so good only you can bring
You are my everything
You are everything
and everything is you

I was Confident. Secure. Loved. Accepted. Not lacking anything. And then I could hear Holy Spirit very clearly “Nicole, you have already overcome in your area of weakness because I overcame and shared my victory with you. Where you were weak, I was strong and I used your weakness to give you the victory”.

My darling only you
Can make my dreams come true
And every night I pray
You’ll never go away
I promise I will try
Until the day I die
To treat you like a king
Cause you are my everything

And God showed me that the journey thus far, where I have been kicking and screaming and fighting and dragging to get to the finish line, that somewhere in the process I had already crossed the finish line. He had taken me to it, crossed me over it and given me the victory.

When you’re lovin me
Put your lovin arms around me
When you’re lovin me
Said I feel so safe I found security
When you’re lovin me
Forever I want you home with me
My everything
my every every every everything

God is so smooth, He moved in me and I hadn’t even realized He had moved. Often we have already overcome. Our testimony has already been established. But we do not see it. We only see our shortcomings. But you know what? God sees the finished product. And he’s just waiting for you to see it too.

If you’re interested, check out the video to my new favorite song with Jesus 🙂

SHALOM